Konoha's Randomness Galore!
by Tempest Breeze
Summary: Random drabbles composed into this! Choji eating the moon, Sasuke beating up fan girls and Orochimaru... and of course our favorite Jinchuuriki getting turned into a green-haired girl! We got it all! Bring in ideas for more randomness! We will now have story arcs focused on the Moon Genin's adventures and Orochimaru's torture in the underworld! Ideas for more arcs'll be accepted.
1. FLYING TO THE MOON!

_I am writing a fic of pure randomness. And you must like it.  
_

Let Randomness Galore in Konoha begin! I don't own Naruto.

oooooooo

Naruto sipped his glistening drink before gagging. He glared at Jiraiya. "What did you put in my drink, Pervy Sage?" The old pervert started laughing."Oi, what's so funny?"

Jiraiya held up a mirror. Naruto screamed. Reflected back at him was a green-haired version of Naruko.

"Behold the work of the randomness pill. Eat one and random stuff will happen." Jiraiya popped one into his mouth and instantly transformed into a young pink panda. Naruto screamed a second time as it started to pursue him.

With Lee and the rabid fangirls-

"Will your youthful self marry me, Sakura?" Lee asked, kneeling down at her feet.

With a glare and a screamed "No!", she pumped chakra down into her right fist and propelled it forcefully into the spandex-wearing kunoichi's gut. This sent him rocketing upward, getting farther and farther out of sight. Sakura turned and huffed.

Ino soon spotted Sasuke."Girls, Fan girl Dog pile formation, now!" All girls in sight turned and practically mauled the poor Uchiha. Before the reached him, Sasuke gave a sigh, and pulled out his last resort: his FangirlMauler no Jutsu huge chainsaw.

"I can't take it anymore!" he screamed."I kept quiet for years, but now-" he chuckled evilly," Let's get ready to rumble!" He chased after the girls, revving up his chainsaw.

With Lee-

Lee on the moon was scarfing down cheese every where.

I wish I had some youthful crackers, he thought.

With Hinata and Neji-

They both locked eyes, staring directly into each other's souls-

Then Neji blinked.

"Hah! You lose!" Hinata yelled.

"You cheated," he grumbled.

"Did not!"

"Did too!"

A voice rang out from behind them. " A Thousand Years of Pain!"

Fingers connected with Neji's bum, and, screeching with pain, was sent flying through the roof, presumably to meet up with Lee and Choji on the moon. the fat boy had taken a rocket there after hearing it was really made of cheese.

Hinata turned to Kakashi."That was random."

He blinked."Isn't that the point of this fic?"

"Fourth wall breaker!" a voice randomly called out from nowhere.


	2. RODEO!

_I don't own Naruto.  
_

_~~:D LINE CUT :D~~_

**With all the genin besides those on the moon:  
**

"Yee-haw!" screamed all the shinobi in the bleachers.

Naruto trotted in on a red fox with a leather saddle. He flashed his foxy grin to the audience, and they screamed even louder.

Sasuke came in, spurring his cowboy boots against the ground with his trusty bull at his side.

_Both are just as stupid, how nice, _Naruto thought, then snickered. The Uchiha frowned even more deeply at him, if it could be done.

Tenten stood up on the announcer's tower with a megaphone in hand. "Let the bronco bustin' _begin!" _she yelled through the cone, and the boys in the crowd whooped with excitement. A red bull came running into the ring, and Naruto switched out his fox for the bull. The fox jumped into the bleachers and took a seat by Kiba and Akamaru. Kiba, being an animal lover, hugged the fox with a silly grin on his mug.

Both contestants charged at each other, then, with a bang, the bulls were sent flying through the air, only to explode on a convenient mountain.

_~~:D LINE CUT :D~~_

**With Kakashi and Jiraiya:**

Both men were quietly snickering at the show down below, completely ignored the exploding Mt. Hokage, then simply went back to gazing down at the women's bathhouse down at the hot springs in Konoha. How big perverts they both were. Then, at that moment, a sky spirit coincidentally dropped his Icha Icha book out of the sky right then. The giant falling book smashed both perverts under it, but they were too busy squealing with delight to notice.

_~~:D LINE CUT :D~~_

**With the boys on the moon:  
**

Neji dropped the binoculars hanging around his neck in disgust."THEY'RE HAVING A RODEO BACK HOME WITHOUT US!" he scowled fiercely.

All the boys had constructed a temporary house made out of cheese and preserved it. Lee had been holding Choji back during the process so he wouldn't destroy the structure and eat it before Neji was done.

They now had several kinds of meals composed of cheese; cheese stew, cheese cake, cottage cheese, cheese soufle', melted cheese, burned cheese, flaming cheese, and, Neji's favorite, cheese cordon bleu. Although he was starting to get sick of all the cheese.

Neji picked his binoculars back up and chuckled." A giant book smashed Kakashi and Jiraiya flat!"

"They deserved it, the perverts!" yelled Choji.

_~~:D LINE CUT :D~~_

**Tsunade and Shizune extras:**

"SHIZUNE! MORE SAKE!"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."


	3. FREAKIN' RANDOM!

**With Sasuke and a tied Orochimaru:**

"And _this_ is for trying to use me!" Sasuke shouted, bringing down yet another swing at Orochimaru, who was hanging from a high tree branch like a pinata, sending the Snake Sannin hurtling into the tree.

Broken and bloody, he started crying for mercy when Sasuke came at him with a knife. Before he could scream like a certain little girl he'd tortured a while back, Sasuke slit his throat with a clean swipe.

You could see the Snake ninja's dark and evil soul drip into earth, going down to the heck he deserved.

* * *

**With Shino:**

"WHY THE HECK ARE MY BUGS EATING ME?!" Shino screamed as his insects swirled up and around his body, swarming into himself.

* * *

**With Tenten:**

"And there's my _fourty-ninth _kunai, my mace of both kinds, huge freakin' ax I'm gonna use to chop you in half, and my scythe I'm chasing you with at the moment..." Tenten trailed off as she chased down Tora the demonic cat.

* * *

**With Itachi:**

Stare.

Stare.

Stare.

Boom.

Itachi kept staring at a certain tree until it spontaneously combusted. His looks really could kill.

_Now I only need to keep practicing so I can blow up all the perverts in this world, _he thought. _That is my true dream. They mobbed up and killed my clan and then blamed me for it. They shall pay._ His Sharingan spun wildly in his red eyes. Then Itachi cracked a smile. Hopefully little brother would be more than happy to accompany him.

* * *

**Tsunade and Shizune extras:**

**Past...**

"Will you or will you not heal my arms, Tsunade? That is the question," Orochimaru said in his super-creepy _I'm stalking you and I love to but often don't care_ voice.

Tsunade walked up to him, charged up some chakra in her fists, and slammed them both into the super-stalker. He went flying off of the roof and landed in a lump of dog crap, and soon had a mob of mutts chasing after him. Tsunade smiled, then laughed.

"More sake to celebrate, Shizune!"

"Yes, Tsunade-sama."

* * *

**(A/N): Yes, I'm making Sasuke and Itachi good guys. Yes, all perverts are now the bad guys. So what?**


End file.
